QUICK! Valentines Day is just over a week away and I don’t know about you, but I’m definitely still single. Chat up lines are my only hope at this time of the year, and I am more determined than ever to get that tall, dark and handsome fella. If my personal fave (“Do you have any raisins? How about a date then?”) doesn’t work, I may have to try a selection of these 10 clothes related chat up lines that may just work…
“I’ve lost my compact mirror – is it in your pants? Because I can practically see myself in them.”
“Okay, so keep quiet – but I’m COMPLETELY naked under my clothes.”
Ooh, errr. That’s quite saucy… Oh no wait, we’re all naked under our clothes.
*Chuck your drink all over guy / girls top or lick your finger and run it down their top* “Right, let’s get you out of those wet clothes”
I’m sure he’ll love it when I chuck my drink all over him #WetT-shirt
“Did you get your jeans on sale? Because in my house they’re 100% off”
Yes, yes they are. We have a zero jeans, I mean, zero % off jeans policy in my house, I mean shop…
Ask your approachee to feel your jumper and then say: “what material is that?” They will venture a guess, then you say: “girl/boyfriend material”
Really? It feels like wool to me…
In the words of Arnold Schwarzenegger – Terminator: “Your clothes – give them to me.”
Erm, okay? I’m scared…
I wanna live in your socks so I can be with you every step of the way.
Just as long as you wear fresh socks daily and actually scrub your feet in the shower. Otherwise, you’re okay mate, I’ll find someone else’s feet to reside with.
Let’s make like a fabric softener and snuggle
Everybody loves a snuggle
Didn’t I see you on the cover of Vogue?
Yep! You so totally did (I’m lying)
That socks and heels combo is pretty and practical, amIright? Great, now let me buy you a drink and try to convince you that I’m not gay.